This certain kind of feeling comes in immense slow waves, very slow, lazily reaching to the shore. And so, one is now here again leading me back to the thoughts I've already thought, the regrets I've already felt. And, yes, there is the old retort to counter it, of being not so much more deceived this way, for that other, never taken, would have also led to questions like this, there would still be words not said, steps not taken, touches not felt.
But at this moment, once again, it is a very cold comfort to know this, for that one unique time was already enough of deception, selfdeception, cowardice to last a lifetime. As it evidently will do.